What To Do With Screaming Fear and Searing Grief
Right in the middle of our country road, a couple hundred yards from our farm’s gravel drive, past ravine with creek winding and pines soaring, a woman collapses into my arms sobbing, screaming, pulling her hair side-ways hard. HE’S DEAD! HE’S DEAD! I KNOW HE’S DEAD! I didn’t know her. She looked 30-something, physically fit, […]
Redemption of Mother’s Day: How to Heal Your Hurts
About two hours after Mother’s Day ended, my mother died in her bed of a massive heart attack. She was 65. Mom called her doctor, only hours after I talked with her the morning of that special day. He told her to get to the hospital ASAP after hearing her symptoms—profuse sweating, vomiting, shoulder pain. […]
Pushing Through the Pain
Her whole body betrays her. Like a sudden massive earthquake, all her muscles convulse. Her teeth chatter. Her hands shake. She can’t chew. She can’t hold a cup of tea. Even talking is hard as she thinks one word but out comes another. Doctors aren’t sure what’s happening deep in that brain. As if her […]
Packs and The Lone Wolf—How to Deal with the Deadly, Including Ourselves
Electric races lightening fast through my nerves around 9:30 p.m. A pack of coyotes starts yipping and barking. They are close. Very close. Right on the edge of the densely wooded ravine next to our log home. My heart thumps hard in my chest. The eerie sounds of the pack grip me as I stand […]
When You’re Scared and You Don’t Know What To Do
Since this weekend? Seems we’re consumed. In our nation . . . What he said. What he didn’t say. When he said it. Or didn’t say it. Why he took so long to say it. Is he fit? Is he unfit? Are we safe? Are we unsafe? Is the world safe? This opinion. That opinion. […]
Encouragement for the Broken and Stigmatized
I stepped out of the shadows and declared—on Facebook—during Holy Week—that I was suffering with clinical depression. I had hit the hard floor of desperation on Wednesday before Maundy Thursday in the midst of a medication change, one of several I’d been through over the past twenty years. So why did I dare post and […]
Left and Right Wings (Raw Writing–Unapologetically Unedited)
I flew to St. Martin on the day of the presidential inauguration. Leaving my home at four in the morning with a negative six degrees Fahrenheit freezing my bare ankles, I drove forty-five minutes south and parked my car in Remote Lot A. Thankfully, the airport shuttle had just arrived at the shelter. A young […]
Sacrificial Love and Letting Yourself Be Held By the Very Able Hand of God
Anne asked me. Said she needed me to come. Her past few phone messages in my voicemail sounded different—not quite desperate but certainly bold in expressing her request. “I need to see you.” Five strong words. Does a new diagnosis of Alzheimer’s do this to a person? When you’re 69? Do you suddenly wonder how […]
For the Joy Set Before Us
Joy to the world! The LORD has come! Let Earth receive her King! JOY? Fact is, some are sad right now. Like the loved ones of the twelve mowed down by ISIS in the Christmas market on Monday in Germany. While we’re singing peace on Earth, some are creating chaos and spreading terror and grief. […]
The Presence of Peace in the Midst of Grief
The second week of Advent, we light that second candle. The peace candle. Peace. I want that flame to touch every wicked thing around the world this Christmas. I want peace on earth and goodwill to spread towards all. This is what we sing this season, isn’t it? Peace? Goodwill? And yet, Aleppo’s without water […]
To Have and Hold Hope
“How can you sit and listen to people in pain all day long?” People often asked me this question when I worked as a therapist. Truth is, I viewed my job as a privilege to sit face-to-face with people in great inner pain, holding hope for them when they could not hold hope for themselves. […]
Stand Firm and Speak Up
I was 27 years old that perfect July night when I watched my friend run to the end of the pier following others who dove in first. Before his feet left the wood-slatted edge, I thought, “Don’t dive!” I thought it. But I didn’t say it. I watched Dan’s diving body disappear under the water. […]