Pushing Through the Pain
Her whole body betrays her. Like a sudden massive earthquake, all her muscles convulse. Her teeth chatter. Her hands shake. She can’t chew. She can’t hold a cup of tea. Even talking is hard as she thinks one word but out comes another. Doctors aren’t sure what’s happening deep in that brain. As if her […]
What We All Need to Know About Respect and Servanthood
We rolled slowly along the street, meandering our way to what would soon be two new graves dug in Arlington National Cemetery—two of 400,000 already grassed green. Our vehicle stopped. Six men in crisp Army uniform stood in front of us, facing the awning where we would memorialize and pray for our friend’s father, Sgt. […]
Why We Need to Reach Out
There’s something ironic, even tragic, about feeling down-and-out. We don’t want to reach out. In fact, a common symptom of depression is isolation. Thinking we’re too much. Thinking we’re weird. Thinking we don’t want to burden anyone. Thinking we just need to get it together—pull ourselves up by our bootstraps—put on a happy face. Then […]
The Wedding That Eclipsed the Eclipse
We stood on the concrete driveway, two of our three grown kids and me. Anna and Nick stared up at the cloud-covered sky as our bare feet soaked up the warmth from the sun we couldn’t see. I looked around. The grass seemed greener. The swallows flocked together. The temperature dropped. Though not completely dark, […]
What Happens When the Hurting Seek Help
He comes up to me and leans in close to my ear. Will you pray for me? Of course, I say as I look into his eyes starting to well with tears. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handkerchief, dabs both his eyes, and with trembling voice tells me straight . . […]
Left and Right Wings (Raw Writing–Unapologetically Unedited)
I flew to St. Martin on the day of the presidential inauguration. Leaving my home at four in the morning with a negative six degrees Fahrenheit freezing my bare ankles, I drove forty-five minutes south and parked my car in Remote Lot A. Thankfully, the airport shuttle had just arrived at the shelter. A young […]
Sacrificial Love and Letting Yourself Be Held By the Very Able Hand of God
Anne asked me. Said she needed me to come. Her past few phone messages in my voicemail sounded different—not quite desperate but certainly bold in expressing her request. “I need to see you.” Five strong words. Does a new diagnosis of Alzheimer’s do this to a person? When you’re 69? Do you suddenly wonder how […]
To Have and Hold Hope
“How can you sit and listen to people in pain all day long?” People often asked me this question when I worked as a therapist. Truth is, I viewed my job as a privilege to sit face-to-face with people in great inner pain, holding hope for them when they could not hold hope for themselves. […]
When You’ve Loved and Lost and You Need Another Miracle
MaryAnn Lammers smiled through her tears as Pastor gathered our attention during after-service coffee downstairs. “Today is MaryAnn’s 63rd wedding anniversary.” Only, MaryAnn’s love went to glory last year right before Christmas. Her heart still cries for her loss—63 years of walking as one and raising a house full of kids. When heart and soul are […]
On the Edge, In a Wilderness
I’m flying far away Friday. Off to Alaska to an island surrounded by ocean teeming with fin whales and sea lions, salmon and otters. Flying off to write and to learn to write better. Flying off to take a breaths under expansive sky, to visit dear friends, to meet and make new friends. Flying off […]
True Church
Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. James 2:17 Started in the fields yesterday, early afternoon, church on the farm. Ended up in the barn at 9:45. PM. Longest church I’ve ever witnessed. Don’t know if anyone here knew they were at church or in church, but I still say […]
When You Don’t Get What You Want
I’ll admit it right here for the whole world (or at least my tiny slice of cyberspace) . . . I’m not exactly happy about the fact that God hasn’t answered some of my prayers the way I’d have liked. In fact, I’ve been more than a little ticked about hearing “No” or “Not now” […]